Updated on January 9, 2024
Gender-neutral pronouns to be inclusive in English
Pronouns are words we use to talk about a person. Have you seen people writing pronouns “she/her” or “they/them” after their name on social media? Some people don’t want to be referred to as “he” or “she” and prefer pronouns without gender. Today we’ll share why this is important and how to use gender-neutral language in English.
The first thing to know about gender-neutral language is that it’s nothing new. English has used gender-neutral grammar and vocabulary for centuries.
Second, we recognize that languages evolve over time. Words are borrowed or invented as needed. Did you know the word ‘robot’ comes from the Czech language? Changing and inventing words to fit society happens in many languages. It always has. That’s the beauty and power of language.
The basic evolution of neutral pronouns will be familiar to you. “He” used to be the default.
English-speaking societies came to consider this phrasing sexist. Women make up half of the population, including students. The default human is not a man. Nowadays, we include women using the phrases “he or she” or “his or her.”
That gets cumbersome after a few sentences. Enter a neutral pronoun “they” to refer to a single person.
For native English speakers, this sounds familiar. It has been in common usage for hundreds of years. It’s called the “singular indefinite pronoun.”
Transgender and gender non-conforming are adjectives for people whose gender identity doesn’t match the sex they were assigned at birth. Their existence in society is also nothing new.
It’s important to validate and recognize trans and gender non-conforming people by using their correct pronouns and gender-neutral language in English. It says, “we see you and you exist.” That is powerful for the LGBT+ community.
So, what are gender-neutral pronouns we can use? Let’s start with the basics. A personal pronoun is a word we use in place of a person or name.
This table shows words to use instead of “Alison” to speak about me. Some fit my gender. Some don’t.
| Gender neutral? | Subjective | Objective | Possessive | Reflexive |
| she | her | hers | herself | |
| he | him | his | himself | |
| ✔ | you | your | yours | yourself |
| ✔ | they | them | theirs | themself |
| ✔ | ze | zir/hir | zirs/hirs | zirself/hirself |
| ✔ | xe | xem | xyrs | xemself |
| ✔ | Name(Alison) | Name’s(Alison’s) | Name’s(Alison’s) | Name’s self (Alison’s self) |
Check out a more exhaustive list of gender-neutral pronouns that are evolving as needed.
Create an open environment. Bring it up by sharing your pronouns first.
This encourages everyone to share. If they don’t want to share their pronouns, that’s ok too. When in doubt you can always use a person’s name.
If you make a mistake and use the wrong pronoun, it’s ok. Just correct yourself and offer a quick apology. There’s no need to make a big deal out of it.
Using gender-neutral pronouns is easy! Once you’ve shared politely and know someone’s pronouns, you can speak about them like this:
There are other ways we can use gender-neutral language in our everyday lives. Here are some tips on what to say:
| Say ✔ | Do not say 🚫 |
| Friends and colleagues | Ladies and gentlemen |
| Yes, please | Yes sir/yes ma’am/yes miss |
| The guest over there. | The woman over there. |
| The person in the red shirt. | The man in the red shirt. |
| Excuse me, friend? | Excuse me, miss? |
| Hello, are you Alison Maciejewski Cortez? | Hello, are you Ms. Maciejewski Cortez? |
Words matter. When we make a point to use gender-neutral pronouns and language inclusivity, we help marginalized people feel welcome. Take the initiative when introducing yourself and you will get the opportunity to learn and use gender-neutral pronouns for others.
